I'm one of them, and I feel so proud.

tell you what,

Please say hello to these people, L.

Before everything goes blue, I decide to post this now. It doesn't mean that I don't trust myself, or him, or whatsoever, but yeah.... you know what I mean.

I have just started a new story. Haven't I told ya? I don't remember when it really was, but I've given up on my summer. Well, that's the only way I should be, anyway, right? It was tragically beautiful, but unluckily, after all, I do still have a life.

'They don't know how long it takes, waiting for a love like this...'

It isn't a new story actually, not even close. I've told you about this guy before, months ago. Guess what, lots of things happened this year. And, like or not, I've changed a lot this year. I just remembered the first time I fell for him, and I feel so much younger. It's been a looong time. I don't know where to start, but, just to let you know, I'm having the best I can have. We're different at many ways, we fight a lot, but I'm tired of thinking how to make things work, just like what I always did in my old relationships. The results are always the same. Things worked out, I flied high, and fell down. The only thing that I should care about is this one thing: Are we happy with this? If it's yes, then let's just go on.

'I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...
Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...
Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.'
(Taylor Swift - Love Story)

Let's just pray for the best :)


November oh November

Hello, I know it’s been a long time.

November has been totally insane. That’s it. That’s the only reason why I stop writing here, I don’t even have any time. + I don’t even have any internet connection which is good enough to go online.

I can’t wait for Christmas. I can’t wait for the holiday.


another letter to summer

Dear summer days,
Everything happens since you walked away. I lost almost everything at the end of your time but so far, everything’s still under control. I want to thank you for being so memorable each day, I love how you let the sun shine above my head or how you let the rain make my sneakers get dirty, I’m sorry if I kept complaining about my wet hair. I feel good, well, not as good as I felt when you were around but overall, I still have the reasons to smile and get crazy everyday. My friends are awesome, they’re super cool. I love how they make me laugh with those stupid jokes, they lift me up when I, again and again, fall into the under ground.

Dear summer days,
Another season has just come. It rains almost everyday, and I’d like to enjoy everyday just like how I enjoyed my time with you. I love having my quality time with some cups of coffee and feel the pouring rain above my rooftops. I’ve become more introvert yet extrovert at the same time. I feel enjoy when I’m alone, it’s such a right time to fly with my own thoughts, guess what, I think about everything. I know flashback is such a painful thing to do, but I love recalling the old memories. Yeah, most of them are ours. At least I know, I ever felt so alive once. Oh summer days, you were so real that I couldn’t help myself to make sure whether I was dreaming or not.

Dear summer days,
I’ve learnt a lot. I’ve never felt this brave before to take another step, to finally know that moving forward is the only choice left. I know now that forgetting won’t work at all, it’s forgiving actually. Sometimes I think you went too early, I did still have some pages to be written and colored but now I see, there’s still so much time with a lot of the other exciting things waiting somewhere I haven’t known.

Dear summer days,
Tom has finally found his Autumn after Summer walked away. You know what, sometimes I wonder if I could get mine too :p I do believe that somehow, someone must be there, someday, somewhere.

Thanks for giving me a lot of good times, see you next year :)


Busy, leave message.

Full schedule. I get up at 6. The classes start at 8. I patiently listen to those women and men in front of the classes and write the things on the notebook. I get my lunch. I go to the library with some friends or enjoy sitting at the canteen with hot topics to talked about. And I do the random things at campus, til the sky grows dark, time to go back to my room. Everyday. College life is tiring yet exciting so far, and I'm so in love with my new family, Komunikasi UI 2010. Overall, I'm doing fine :)


#nowplaying John Mayer - In Your Atmosphere

I'm back and I miss everything. I miss everything I've left behind, I miss everything I can't do anymore. I've been so busy lately and I'm still trying to keep up with my own life. I know it sounds funny, but yeah, here I am.

and... I miss the streetlights. I miss how they guided me home.


"that won't change a thing."

Life has been so.....unpredictable these days. But I feel fine so far, everything is still able to be handled and I can say that I'm pretty single now :) No more stupidly wishing for the shooting stars, that heartache comes sometimes but I'm pretty sure that I'm getting my life back.

"Asking you to be back might has been a wrong choice. In the end, all I know is just, I can't trust you at all."

Those days were so hard, if I may say. I was sadly living in sadness. Passing by the roads I used to go with him months ago, those sappy love songs, those sweet memories, his promises about those awesome days ahead that I had imagined... thank God they didn't kill me. I was too fragile to let go, too in love to let go. I just couldn't believe that it really happened on me. Gah, now I'm blabbering too much.
But one day I realized, I should forgive first if I want to forget. I kept waiting for something I didn't even know and I should make a movement. I might have made a lot of big mistakes. But I can't go on with someone who's always ready to take any step and let me go.

"Be a good girl, you deserve someone better, so do I."

Probably it wasn't that we weren't meant to be together, I think that we were just not ready for forever. He was like a star that I kept staring at from my window, I kept wishing it would come to me eventho I know it wouldn't. Everything will get better in time, and I'm letting it all flow. Goodbye, that's all I can say.

500 days of summer
Summer: "I woke up one morning and I just knew."
Tom: "Knew what?"
Summer: "What I was never sure of with you."

You can be in love and you can be in a relationship. But they're not always the same thing.



August = Attitude

outgoing personality. feeds on attention. takes risks. self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. likes talking and singing. very revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. daydreamer. easily distracted. loves music. hates not being trusted. big imagination. hates studying. in need of “that someone”. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. loves to be loved. lives by “no pain no gain” caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. “charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.



Hello everyone, I'm browsing over a lot of pages and thinking why don't I write something here? just to give a little update for those who want to know :p
I'm about to start being a part of another war tomorrow! wish me luck, for tomorrow, and for the 4 years later.


time for my ego to talk

4ever I don’t know why, I do still believe, there should be a way.


unintentionally found this


Carrie: “Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.”
Mr. Big: “I don’t get it.”
Carrie: “And you never did.”

- Sex & The City


*crossing fingers*

Yellow was my big dream.Y’all know that. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, I haven’t even started any class yet, it’s still WOW actually. I’m just makin’…another life plan.





I'll reach New York someday.

ok, 638 miles may be too far. but it ain’t feel much different.



10 pm here. Guess what, I should’ve been sleeping actually. I’ve just got an admirable package of bad fever, and homesick, yeah, as always. I’ve been so busy with the whole activities, and I still have a trouble with the adaptation. Good friends are everywhere, best friends are so uneasy to be found. Or is this the time? To be so individualist and be more introvert? I’m not that type, oh well, I need a ‘click’, and I miss mine. This is not what I used to be, getting knocked down so easily.


Happy birthday, yein :)

dr culi!

made by: Icul! :)

dr ryaaa!sweet bday card from Rya :)

IMG00651-20100808-1656IMG00647-20100808-1654 IMG00648-20100808-1655 IMG00649-20100808-1655 IMG00650-20100808-1656

sweet box and the sweet things inside, a backpack, a webcam, a headset and also the microphone, a pair of flat shoes, and a tamagochi!

I love y’all guys :)

I’m sweetly18th yo now, no longer a kid :)


Life starts changing.

I’ve moved to Depok. And I’m facing something which is called adaptation. New life, new friends, new world…I hope it’s really the best time for them to come. I wish I were stronger, I’ve just been here for 3 days with all the activities and energy, and I’ve felt so tired already. Cemble banget mentalnya!!

Know what, first days aren’t easy. I do almost everything all by myself. Trying to get more and more friends, keep telling myself that I gotta be strong. Man, it’s just the beginning. I’ve told myself from the very first time, ‘I may be so much fine here, living a life that I’ve been waiting for quite a long time. But remember, when the pressure comes, I’ll come home and no one will greet me, sit next to me and ask how tiring my day has been. That will be the time when I start missing my home and my family to be around.’ I’m not that type who cries easily, and I’m not that far from home, but it’s quite hard not to cry every time my mom calls and says goodnight. And I love you too, Mom, I wish you were here.

So, I’ve got specialities on August this year, hectic days. They are impatiently waiting to be hit and I got no time left to play around. Pray for me guys!

p.s: I’m turning 18 on this Friday! and just like the other years who have gone by, I’m still sure that days get harder til the day you turn older. It’s like a pre-test, I think. Gifts are waited anyway ;)

God bless you all! Don’t give up, He’ll always strengthen you, He knows the way :)


The Notebook, 2004


Duke: They didn't agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday...
Young Noah: [Allie and Noah are fighting] Don't push me!
[Allie pushes Noah anyway]
Duke: ...But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other.

everything’s still on the line

do you remember the nights// we’d stay up just laughing// smiling for hours at anything// remember the nights// we drove around// crazy, in love// do you remember the nights// we made our way dreaming// hoping of being someone big// we were so young then// we were too crazy// in love// when the lights go out// we’ll be safe and sound// we’ll take control of the world// like it’s all we have to hold on to// and we’ll be a dream////

(We The Kings ft Demi Lovato – We’ll Be A Dream)

“I never asked to fall in love. But I accidentally fell for someone who worth everything.” -@Janetdvr


i'm still breathing

i leave the gas on
walk the allies in the dark
sleep with candles burning
i leave the door unlocked
i'm weaving a rope and
running all the red lights
did i get your attention?
cause i'm sending
all the signs and
the clock is ticking
and i'll be giving
my 2 weeks

pick your favorite
shade of black
you'd best
prepare a speech
say something funny
say something sweet
but don't say
that you loved me

'cause i'm still breathing
but we've been
dead for awhile

this sickness has no cure
we're going down for sure
already lost a grip
best abandon ship

...well, at least you know.

tanpa judul

mungkin ini yang mereka bilang mati rasa. atau mungkin juga tidak.
atau mungkin, ini yang mereka bilang kebal. atau… mungkin juga tidak.

yang saya tahu dan saya rasakan, saya gagal. saya bertahan cukup lama dan saya gagal. bahkan bermacam-macam coklat pun tidak membantu, padahal setahu saya mereka adalah salah satu sahabat terbaik saya. salah satu penyembuh terbaik saya. sementara saya sendiri tidak tahu saya mengidap penyakit apa.

mungkin memang saya yang sudah salah dari awal. atau mungkin saja tidak.

saya pikir saya cukup kuat untuk menjadi batu, yang keras dan tak terbantahkan.
dan cukup meyakinkan untuk menjadi plastik, yang terlihat lemah namun tahan banting.

tapi saya salah.


It is life. From the eyes of a grown up.


Well I think, everyone has his/her opinion about life. Isn’t it the topic we’ve heard to be mostly talked about? Each day, everyone keeps making more and more theories about life.

I can’t describe how life has been so up and down these days. Okay, one word. Amazing. Yep, amazing. I kept complaining about the bad days I had, and forgot to be thankful when those bad days turned into good days. I got a question left in my head, have I wasted so much time? I was afraid I have.

I thought everything was so unfair. I was so rebellious. I know I’m playful enough as a teen but I don’t really like to be in a game, to be played. And life has played me that easily. Brought me up and down, one day it gave me lots of happiness and sent me a pack of miserable things on the next day. I was totally….labile. I can’t find a better word to explain how bad I was.

But suddenly I realise something. I won’t go on if I keep saving these negative thoughts, and blaming everything on life. I need those positive energies. And they have successfully helped me to see that….Life’s so colourful. And with those colours, we can see that life’s not that simple. Living a life is not as easy as choosing which part of the picture to be coloured in white and which part to be coloured in black. We still have a lot of crayons waiting to be used.

So, it really depends on you, how to face every little thing in your life. If you've decided from the very first minute you wake up that you’ll have a good day today, then you’ll have your good day. No matter how bad actually your day will be, you’ll still get some reasons to be thankful of, you’ve got another thing to be learnt today ;) It’s all about choices.

I try not to regret anything, like being one of those labile people, this is how a teenager lives a life anyway. We get older, but we’re still young. I can say now, I’m not wasting too much time, and so are you. Well, there may be a little time I’ve wasted, like having lots of hibernations and crying over the money I’ve spent uselessly, but isn’t it okay? I’m still growing up every single day, being amazed of every new thing I’ve seen, keeping on asking why instead of saying thanks God, and laziness is still one of the elements of life that I love the most. Haha, just…. let it be, let it be.

p.s: forgive me if you don’t agree with my words above. It’s just my point of view, anyway. And someday, it might change, I’m surely sure about that. Well who knows?

How are you anyway?



….there may be a little pain but I’m doing fine, no doubt.


a letter to my summer

Dear summer love,

I know it looks so cheesy but let me say something. I thank you for all the things we’ve done and undone. I can’t hide how love has brought me up and down every single day. Those days I got mad and cried over you, those days I fell deeper and deeper for you. I was no more than a girl who had fallen desperately in love. And yes, I am, still. Silly, eh? It may be too old to let the love get me down stupidly, don’t you think so? I know you do. I spent those days thinking how to get into your unreachable mind, how to make it memorable enough to be saved sweetly and irreplaceably in the box, I was all wrong. I know all we gotta do is only finding how to stay in line, expect nothing and let it all flow. Don’t mind it, as usual. Someday I’ll turn back to this page and read this, bet me, I’ll laugh loudly, over me. I won’t be able to wonder how cheesy and labile I’ve been. And I’ll curse you later. Haha, you don’t need to give any comment about this, I don’t even want to hear it from you, just warn me when forever is going to end. Yea, I love you anyway.

Sincerely, me.



“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.”

Carrie Bradshaw


Well, you might not know about this


RT @BestFilmQuotes: "If you make a girl laugh, she likes you, but if you make her cry, she loves you." -Kicking the Dog

Congrats, dude. She loves you.


I might have been wrong.

I tried to write the story without knowing every single word had actually been written long before I decided to start writing. This is when the word ‘much’ is lessened, and ‘long’ is shortened. I can’t keep going on. I had dreamt about everything I’d do from the very beginning. Sadly, none has happened. Call it hopeless. What I’m doing now is, trying how to go thru a day by avoiding the unexpected anger and disappointment. Problems. I keep telling myself that I’m not scared, I’m not weak. But is it normal if all of these have driven me upset? I’m sure I’ve got a wrong scene, and I can’t get out. I need to breathe, to laugh loudly, to clear everything. So what? Oh please, it’s not just a wink, it’s been pages, if  I may say. You know we don’t have to cry to show the people how fragile we have been. I’m totally stuck, help.

tell me what I should do, I don’t wanna let it go. I can’t let it go.

Do not mind it, it’s just another random thought.

I hate how I’ve lost my ability to write such a long post these days. And I blame it on twitter with its 140 characters anyway. Haha, I’ve become super talky on twitter, thought how to tell what I want to write as shortly as possible there, and planned to share the rest on blogspot but here I come, run out of words.

Have you ever felt like you’ve been fighting hardly for something, working something out all alone while actually you don’t have to do that way, and after all you’ve done, you’re left realising that you’re not failed. I mean here, you’re not just failed, but everything you’ve done has just become useless. Have you ever felt that?

It’s like being a racer on a rally race, and you’re having your co driver next to you but he’s not even helping you at all. Everything turns to be so dysfunctional. You’re there, together, but you’re not working together to get the way out, trying not to mind everything, while the only thing you both need is a way out.

Learn something. You don’t have to complicate it if you don’t want to, but you can’t always simplify everything. Do not say ‘just forget it and let it go.’ It doesn’t even make any sense, man, you’ve to solve it first before you let it go, as long as it’s still possibly solved. It’s about choosing a choice, if you let it go, trust me, someday you’ll just make the same mistake and you’ll end up wondering how you could go to the same hell twice. That’s why I say, you always have to learn something, pick something, you may not get what you want but at least, you get something to learn.

Don’t let your ego rule everything. Don’t let your ego ruin everything.

Thank you for reading.


Over and over again

I’m so tired of the way the world works.

They conspire, trying to keep us apart.

Things I miss the most

Time changes almost everything. I’ve got a lot, and also missed a lot. But best friends, they stay forever.

1. Midnight birthday surprises

I’ve always loved making birthday surprises. Going to the cake storage, making the greeting cards, buying the gifts, singing the happy birthday song, waking the bday girl or boy up in the middle of the night, or knocking at their doors and shouting “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!”, and so on. Lots of people in every city in this world do that, so where’s the special? Seeing the people we love smile widely, letting them know that we never forget their birthdays. Seeing them happy. That’s the point.


2. Sleepover

Isn’t it totally a loveable thing, how we spend a night by staying awake with our best friends around, with the jokes, the snacks, the gossips, the camera, and especially the pajamas?


3. Java Rockin Land ‘09

I still remember how exciting it was to see those bands rocking the stage with their own styles, being a part of the crowd, screaming out loud with the other people, jumping with the beats, singing along and seeing my favourite musicians truly with my two eyes. I was a rocker, once, that night.


4. Bali, 2006

Unforgettable moment ever. Still wondering how to get back to those days actually.


5. Cheerleading

Jumping, yelling, and dancing. I miss this kind of team.


6. Rocking the night out

Just like what the other teenagers do, breaking the nights out with friends. Besides the quality time, the thing I’ve always missed is the streetlight.


I love you guys, you all know that.


The case I'll hardly forget

"I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours my dear. And I'll belong to you."
(Dashboard Confessional)

Is it just me or time is really flying, not just running?
I'm enjoying every little time of these moments. Love fills, love writes every single word on this page.
I'm trying not to mind those fights, those debates, those bad feelings my heart has got.
Since, I know, someday I won't refuse to pay anything just to go back to these times; letting him holding my hands while we sit quietly in the car, shouting at him every time he pokes me, pinches me, and bites me rudely (well actually the last one is me), singing like two on-fire-rockers and laughing at each other when the radio turns into sappy love songs, staying awake at nights and having those silly night calls (talking like two tweeties and giving up at dawns), whispering stupid jokes while we're catching the movies, sending and receiving those sweet voice notes on bbm, and so on, even having those fights and debates.

you know what, dear werewolf, I'm gonna miss you a lot. and I love you anyway.


I should learn to be more thankful.

Before you read this, I wanna say something, I'm not complaining. I just need to share them.
  • I had a bad week.
  • Well, family problem is still pushing me down. But I do believe our love will strengthen us.
  • Fucking unplanned holiday -__- I worked hard for this I know, I wanted this.
  • School Administration Office really pisses me off.
  • My finance's condition. Totally unstable and gets worse each day. Who can live without money anyway?
  • Jakarta's weather. Super hot today and heavy rain for tomorrow.
  • I'm tanned enough, PLEASE.
  • I thought my sleep schedule had come back. Actually it's a big no. My whole body system has really been fucked up, I think.
  • I miss Immanuel. haha. And I hate knowing that I'm not gonna meet him (again) this week. But it's okay on me.
  • I've been having a continually headache. I don't know why, it's back.
  • I get lack of ideas to write. Help.
I stop here. Now I know I'm complaining. Sorry. I should learn to be more thankful.


I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Labile.

No offense. I don’t have any guts to talk as a woman. Women in my eyes are so….mature. They hold everything in their hands, even the whole world. They know what the good is, and what the bad is. They cry in the right time, and lay their heads back down to hold the tears when they know they don't have to cry.
I'm still the same girl that people have known since long time ago. I may be a few years older than I was but I'm not so sure that I've grown up that much. If I may say a thing, it may be the rightest age to be so labile. Laugh, cry, and get mad. I don't give any fuckin care to what people say, and I'll be so disappointed when I get nowhere to run. While in fact, all I have to do is just staying. Running just makes me get lost.
I try to stay.
I try to forgive a lot.
I try to be much more understanding about people.
I try.
Lately, silence has always been my choice. Trying to shut my big mouth up instead of complaining. Trying not to mind unimportant things, trying to get the point on a better way. I do not realise this is just taking me deeper to the dramas. Truths look so ugly while lies become so much prettier. The good thing is, I've become more sensitive to know how people use their masks properly. Doesn't mean I'm none of them, even being one of them has made me fully understand why we, people, need the masks. Simple, to hold on. We let the others see that we're stronger when we know we've never been this fragile before. I look as if I need the silence while having the music still on is the thing I mostly need. But...this is how it is. Since we all know, we rule the world, but life has already written its own rules, called fate. And this is what we all have to face, to keep holding on. And to grow up to be a woman.

2010 is really.....unexplainable.

If you're surely living this life, you should always be ready to be up and down.

It's quite confusing how we could have a super flat day yesterday and have a lot of surprises today. I'm having 3 months off of almost everything, especially school. Don't call it holiday, I'm not even having fun. The fact is, I'm wasting so much time by looking for something fun and the result is I've got no money left. Stupid? Yes.
Those months I worked hard for what I've got now, and these months I'm afraid I'll die just because I've got nothing to do almost everyday.
Thousands plans, nothing's done. But to stay alive, we'll always have to be thankful for everything.



easy come, easy go.


Carelessly in love

Falling in love with the wrong girl is totally bad isn't it? And don't you regret it? But you can't imagine how hurt it is to be the wrong girl who realises that she has fallen in love with the right guy.

You may be ready to be broken. But I'm not.


Again and again, insomnia's attack

Almost 4am here.
What am I? A vampire?
Or maybe zombie fits me more. Vampires, they are beautiful.
while I'm totally messed up hahah
I should stop living this unhealthy life, or I'll die tomorrow.
Okay that's too much but oh please it's driving me insane,
I'm staying awake while the only thing I need is a bedrest. Now.

Oh man, just like usual, it's always too late to say goodnight to you all.
So, good morning,
I'm hitting my bed.

So, I ain't telling you any lie

It may be too soon to call it love,
but even Jack and Rose in 'Titanic' movie only needed 3 days
to know they were deadly in love.


When today doesn't work well, tomorrow is the only hope.

I need to meet you.

So here it comes the goodbye. See you, Emperor...

"Highschool never ends."

Bukan begitu?
And so, masa SMA gue udah selesai. Highschool is really over. Selasa, 25 Mei 2010, bertempatan di Balai Sudirman, diadakan acara wisuda Emperor SMAN 81 2010.
It was so funny seeing my whole friends in kebaya and black suitcase. Cantik cantik, dan ganteng ganteng. So thumbs up, looked as if everyone prepared the best for the last day.

Sepanjang jalan yang bener-bener padat merayap, bersama ayah ibu, I promised myself something. 'This is the last day before entering a new life, and I may not be sad. This is the last day, I'll have fun with all of them. This is the last day, I won't let any tears drop that easy and destroy my make ups. This is the last day, I'll use it well.'
Just letting you know, I've never been good at goodbyes, no matter how good it was.

Acaranya lumayan. Nggak ngaret, itu yang terutama. Yang pasti banyak sambutan, yah skip lah. Yang bener-bener ngena di gue cuma sambutan dari Pak Tulus sm Rifqi & Oci. Selama acara, beberapa kali ditayangin foto-foto Emperor dari jaman kelas 1 masih MOS sampe kelas 3 saat-saat terakhir. Sedih? Iya, pastilah. Tapi hari kemaren terlalu berharga buat dijadiin ajang sedih-sedihan.

karna hari ini yang kan kita rindukan
di hari nanti,
sebuah kisah klasik untuk masa depan.
(Sheila on 7)

3 tahun gue di 81, jujur aja gue emang nggak ngerasa seindah pas gue di Tarpat, pas gue SMP. But however, these people has fulfilled my high school memories. Jadi, bukan berarti masa SMA gue nggak indah. Gue baru sadar kemaren, I've wasted so much time. Gue nggak banyak ambil andil buat SMA gue, buat temen-temen gue, buat angkatan gue. Gue lebih sering nggak niat sekolah daripada semangat sekolah, lebih sering pengen cepet-cepet pulang daripada tinggal di sekolah, dan sekarang waktunya udah abis. Tapi gue belajar banyak hal, gue nemuin banyak hal, gue dapet temen-temen yang super, dari yang antik sampe paling jutek juga ada. I'm just hoping I was worthwhile for being there.

I love you, Emperor. So proud to be a part of you all. It may be unfair but life really goes on. Bright futures are waiting for each of us, I'm wishing so much good luck for you all..... Thank you for the 3 years memories, I had a lot of good times. Good bye :')


Girls, Best Description

Us girls, we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist, so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal it's innocent

-Katy Perry


Look, and Listen

I'm not good at telling you what I feel in words.
I'm showing you in what I've done to you.
But when I say I love you,
I do really mean it.



It's just like the other nights when I'm stuck on this boring thingy and I get nothing to do.
I'm in the mood of writing but..... I've got no words in my mind. All the things have just come in and out and whatsoever.

I'm getting older and experienced enough in seeing how people live their life.

People change, have you known it?
People change, do they really have to choose it?
Is it even a choice? How if I say that it is really a fate?
People change, so why do we keep on pretending like everything is going well as the time goes by?

And it's all gonna end up, depends on those who stay and those who walk away.
Oh buddy, world goes round. And devils are everywhere.

Well, there's no going back. Keep those things you've held in your hands now, enjoy the atmosphere you've got now.

Calon Mahasiswi UI 2010

Keep praying, God listens up there, and He always knows what the best answer is on His own.
God, thanks a lot. Thanks. A lot. You've done a lot of wonderful things in this life.

Halo, saya Reinata calon mahasiswi FISIP UI Jurusan Ilmu Komunikasi 2010 :)
Terima kasih ya doanya teman-teman, semua berkat campur tangan Tuhan.



Haha, miss me already?

Thank God

Aku sudah lulus.
Udah nggak pake seragam SMA lagi.
Tamat sudah 12 tahun sekolah.
Tahun ini kuliah.
Puji Tuhan dapet satu bangku di Fakultas Ilmu Komunikasi Universitas Padjajaran, Bandung.
Masih nunggu jawaban dari Universitas Indonesia.
Doain ya :)

Happy May 6th, People.

Say it with your biggest smile. Or even laugh, if it's possible.


Great Escape

"Keep moving forward. I'm not saying you may not look back, no, because you always have to learn something from your mistakes. Try to put it on the second primary thing in your life, find another business. Live your life, smile, don't cry. Then you'll realise, you have put it on the bottom of your list, which is not able to be seen anymore, you don't even have to look after it. You'll totally get over it and live it slowly, you'll be amazed of how cool it is, you're still alive, and happy."

Quoted from a very late night call, months ago.
And you know what,I'm totally satisfied to know I've been great on doing this.
Thank you, and goodbye fever :)

Sleepy Dreamer

School's over and holiday is coming.
First of all, SELAMAT BUAT TEMEN-TEMEN 2010 YANG UDAH KETERIMA ITB UGM DAN UNIVERSITAS LAINNYA YA!!! bangga banget deh sama kalian :) lebay ya? tapi gue beneran seneng. Yang belom atau masih menunggu pengumuman, kita berjuang bersama-sama okay? Dont ever stop praying, God listens up there.

Anyway, I'm entering a new page on my life. One step to the future. Talking about who I want to be, well... I'm not really sure. I have a lot, totally a lot, of dreams. And I'm gonna tell you some :)

1. Career woman
Gue selalu pengen jadi wanita karir, nggak tau kenapa. Pengen aja, kayaknya seru liat wanita muda mandiri yang sukses dalam setelan blazer sepadu dengan sepatu dan tas yang berbeda tiap harinya, sibuk dengan gadgetnya buat janjian meeting sama ini-itu, dan malemnya sibuk hang out sama temen-temen sepermainannya, atau menikmati malam di apartemen minimalis sambil ngeliatin indah nya kota metropolitan, haha mimpi banget nggak sih?

2. Writer
Dari kecil, gue udah suka nulis. Gue inget banget kelas 3 sd gue udah bikin satu bundel cerpen anak-anak gitu karangan gue hahaha, walaupun isinya cerita-cerita cemen, standar banget deh. Yah emang sih nggak gue kembang-kembangin banget, gue juga bukan tipe orang yang bisa nulis dengan topik dan bahasa yang berat, bahkan mungkin tulisan gue terlalu ekspresif jadi terlalu gampang ketebak. That's it, I spill my brainstorms on writing. Dulu sempet nyoba buat novel tapi nggak pernah ada yang selesai, itu dia, bokap-nyokap gue juga bilang kalo gue susah fokus sama satu hal, yang ada ini belom selesai, gue udah ngerjain yang lain. Terlalu cepet bosenan.

3. Musician
Mungkin lebih tepatnya.... singer hahaha. Seriously deh, I do really wanna be a professional singer. Sekitar dua tahun terakhir ini gue lagi belajar lagu-lagu klasik, Italian sih kebanyakan. Gue cinta banget musik, sayangnya gue nggak bisa main musik. Dari kecil gue pengen belajar piano tapi nggak pernah jadi, dan ini jadi target gue taun ini. Udah telat banget ya, baru mau belajar sekarang? Biarin lah, mendingan telat daripada nggak sama sekali. Karena gue berharap, jadi apapun gue nanti, gue masih bisa berkecimpung di dunia musik, at least jadi guru vokal deh. Hehehe..

4. Traveller, Around The World
I do love holidays. I do love packing, seeing a lot of new things I've never seen before, and having new experiences. Gue sukaaaa banget yang namanya jalan-jalan, keluarga gue pun bilang gue kaki panjang banget, nggak betahan di rumah. Gue punya cita-cita pengen keliling dunia, yah nggak usah sekali jalan terus gue keliling dunia, dari yang lingkup kecil aja, keliling Indonesia. Gue pengen ke Kalimantan, ke Aceh, ke Papua, gue pengen liat budaya suku-suku pedalamannya, atau bikin tenda di tengah hutan rimba (nekat).

5. Actress (wtf?)
Gue nggak tau, apa dong yang tepat? Bukan artis kacangan gitu juga maksud gue, gue pengen jadi pemain peran. Di panggung teater musikal, skenario karangan penulis ternama dan musik garapan musisi kelas dunia, hah mimpi benerrr ya gue. Tapi gue selalu mengkhayal kayak begini dari kecil, ada di tengah panggung gedeee kayak di Opera House gitu terus disorot banyak lampu, kadang sendu kadang ramenya ngalahin kembang api, tergantung scene apa yang lagi gue mainin. Being unpredictable everywhere, behind the mask of the character I get. Dengan koreografi dan kostum yang gila-gilaan, teriakan-teriakan hingar-bingar baik di panggung maupun di bangku penonton, itu bener-bener mimpi sempurna gue. Siapa tau dari situ, gue bisa naik tingkat jadi sutradara, atau bahkan kritikus film! Sounds cool.

6. Translator, or Tour Guide
Sebenernya kan mereka beda banget ya? Persamaannya cuma di...bahasa. Yep, I love listening to the accent of each language. Gue pengen belajar banyak bahasa, karena gue tau itu banyak manfaatnya pastinya. Jadi tour guide, waaaaaaaaaah kurang apa coba. Bisa sambil jalan-jalan, dan bisa bawel sesuka hati gue, berhubung gue demen ngomong haha. Gue pengen jadi translator, tapi kayaknya mengingat gue bosenan, gue disuruh ngartiin satu novel tebel bisa muntah-muntah kali ya? Makanya, sekedar keinginan aja. Bahasa Inggris gue aja masih sangat kacau, tadi pagi gue ngebacain blog gue ini terus gue nyadar....gue sotoy dlm vocab dan banyaaaak banget kalimat yg grammatically wrong. Hahaha maaf ya, namanya juga belajar...

7. Good Mom, Lovely Wife :)
Sampai saat ini sih...gue pengen nikah umur 24. Gue seneng ngeliat keluarga muda gitu, yang baru punya anak satu dan masih kecil, dan mereka masih kayak orang pacaran pada umumnya. Atau nggak usah punya anak dulu deh. Seneng-seneng dulu. Yah, nggak tau sih mungkin gue bakal berubah pikiran kalo gue udah ngerasain enaknya hidup bener-bener mandiri, tapi gue suka kalo hidup gue rame, rumah gue rame. Woken up every morning with a morning kiss, making meals and taking kids to school, working on my jobs, going home and cook a dinner while waiting for my husband to be home, joking on the dinner table with the famie, giving the kids goodnight kisses on their bed, having a lovely night talks with my husband, telling him how great my day was, watching some dvds or listening to the music with the beats while it's possible, and having a holiday at weekends. Life...will be great.

Segitu dulu ya, kepanjangan juga. Mimpi gue kebanyakan, untuk saat ini gue pengen banget jadi anak FISIP UI 2010, Jurusan Ilmu Komunikasi. Karena gue rasa, gue bisa ngebuka banyak impian gue dari sini. Doain gue ya, semoga gue dapet yang terbaik dari Tuhan :) God bless you all, keep reading!


I'm All Over It

Hello Innocence
Though it seems like we've been friends for years
I'm finishing
How I wish I had never begun
Though it should be the last one
And it's dragging me down to my knees
Where I'm begging you please

Let me go
Don't you know

I'm all over it now
And I can't say how glad I am about that
I'm all over it now
Cause I worked and I cursed and I tried
And I said I could change and I lied
Well there's something still moves me inside

She's a melody
That I've tried to forget but I can't
It still follows me
When I wake in the dead of the night
And I know that I can't find
That song going round in my head
Like the last things you said

Please don't go
You think I know

I'm all over it now
And I can't say how glad I am about that
I'm all over it now
Cause I worked and I cursed and I cried
And I said I could change but I lied
Well there's something still moves me inside

Though I walked on by
Though I walked on by
Though I walked on by
Though I walked on by

One dark morning
She left without a warning
And took the red-eye back to London town

I'm all over it now
I'm all over it now
I'm all over it now
I'm all over it now

I'm all over it now
And I can't say how glad I am about that
I'm all over it now
Cause I worked and I cursed and I cried
And I said I would change but I lied
Yeah there's something still moves me inside

(Jamie Cullum)

Highschool - One Day Left

Hey, I'm back.

UAN, checked.
Practical Exam, checked.
UAS, one day left.

Yep, tomorrow will be the last time I do highschool thingy.
College life is waiting. Wish me luck, guys.


Hard to Say

“Comparisons are easily done once you’ve had a taste of perfection.”

It’s hard.

When you do your best, but still, there was someone better.

It’s hard.

When you draw him in your world, but he actually doesn’t even stay in your world.

It’s hard.

When you worry about him all the time, but he doesn’t even think of you.

It’s hard.

When you sing with him, but his mind is somewhere else, capturing his memories.

It’s hard.

When you feel warm around his arm, but he hold you just for fun.

It’s hard.

When you’re happy while your hands are gently held by him, but he takes off his hands.

It’s hard.

When you get mad with him, but he doesn’t take it seriously.

It’s hard.

When you realize you’re completely alone, but he doesn’t even try to look after you.

It’s hard.

When you need him all the time, but he needs you just to escape from his broken hearts thingy.

It’s hard.

When all of this upset you, but he thinks you act too over.

It’s hard.

When you’ve finally got a life because of him, but he hasn’t even moved on.

Sorry if it’s too much, I just don’t know whom to talk to.


just....grow old with me.

The Girl is Trying to Find A Way Back Into Love

Hey....long time no see.
Been extremely busy with those senior year routines, and I'm getting sick of them. My sleep hours have just been fucked up, I sleep 3 or 4 hours a day and that's all enough. Ha, get crazy? So what am I doing at the whole time? studying? unluckily not as simple as that. Sometimes I do studying, sometimes I.....hang on the phone til the midnights shout out. Yep, desperately I'm in love. suck? yeahhh.

Moving on? Nope.... I just let it flow. I don't even know whether I have already moved on or not, I just let my life goes by as the time walks away. Who is he? Let me describe..... an unpredictable guy which is five years older than me (well he'll kill me if he knows I write it down here), with a zuper-testpack-hearted, kindly nice, and funny. Knows how to make me smile, even angry. A good dreaming-partner, he's totally crazy when making dreams. Been my nightcall almost every night, waking up call almost every morning, but he's missing at days. He's busy with his life at sunny days, well I'm on my way to get used to. He's not a new comer, nope, I think I have written about him here, months ago. The story was totally complicated, but here we are. Making an escape together from the big jail called past, breaking dawn just like Edward and Bella do hahahaha.

I don't know where we are going. I just don't know. For this moment, I just wanna take it all...easy. Still on my way to get the yellow jackets, pray for me! :)