been there, done that.

they all say that 

"you do not know what you have until it's gone."

but then we all get into a different story where what they all say is

"everything takes time."

oh please, those sayings are everywhere on those books; self-motivating books, chicken-soups, romance novels, 1000-quotes-to-make-your-life-better kind of books. I know. at first, I feel quite sure that I get the idea of those things people say, until I get to know what it feels when those two things hit and give something to learn practically at the same time. 

some people live in those stories where they know that they have something really precious so they keep it well and when they lose it they know they have it enough and it is time to let go, some others live in those stories where they get bummed by the reality that they actually had something really precious just after they lose it, and some others live in those stories where they have something but they think they deserve something better so they just let it go, move on to another story where they think it fits them better, and so things happen, and years later, when things start to fall not into the right place, they finally learn that what they once had and took totally for granted was really precious. that after things take their time, they finally know what they once had.

I lived in those glorious three years where I thought it was easy to say that those were the best three years of my life, so when they ended, I did not only lose those years but I lost me. I moved to another three years and took everything for granted. I had a really happy friendship-for-life but I gave it up, I had so much good time but I wasted it all, life was so nice to me but I made it hard. and now I have been living in, again, another three years, where almost all things happen differently so I have something to compare, where I finally know that I was really wrong not to appreciate every little thing that happened. 

it is too short to divide the phases of life to every three effing years, I know, but who knows if this three-years-phase will multiply later. six years, nine years for every phase... well who knows. as much as I know, if it is going to be another-three-years-phase, then I only have a little time left before it comes to an end. so, I guess I gotta go... I have a lot of little things waiting to be thankful for, a long list of good old pieces which were unknowingly missing waiting to be recollected, and a big box of chances waiting to be found.

"......I know I can't, cause now I see,
 I'll never stop this train."