Forgive me, Father.
For hesitating, still, whether I have taken the right path since the day I decided not to risk anything at all.
Please do forgive me.
i like him everyday.
there are seven days in a week and seeing how he gets by from one day to another is really enjoyable, i cannot hold myself to spare in details:
on weekdays, his routines are spent the most at work. he has that kind of work that requires not only brain but also passion and hard-work, and i appreciate how he puts his effort on his work. despite his hectic days, he knows how to manage his easy-going personality in front of people, and this answers why people love being around him. he looks quiet but he is actually great at cracking jokes, i sometimes wonder how he can create one funny response so quickly. he is really good at being a calm person, though i know there are bunch of thoughts running in his mind because he tells me so. sometimes it drives me mad, how he thinks over everything, but then i realize, that is just his own way of seeing the details of things or how he just cares about everything, and he suddenly looks kind of smart and sweet at the same time. he rarely complaints compared to the number of tiring days he has to get through, but i can see how exhausted he feels at the end of the day because when he sleeps, he looks just like a newborn baby, very safe and sound.
as much as i like him on weekdays, i like him more and more on weekends. he is very much relaxed on weekends sometimes i feel a bit envious. he knows how to enjoy every minute on weekends and puts aside all the disturbing thoughts he likely gets on weekdays. i also like the way he casually dresses up on weekends, the way he styles himself sometimes reminds me of how so many years have gone by; he still has that thing in him that i always saw when he was a teenage boy, yet i can also see how he has matured so much. he is a very nice company to have when i am in the mood to explore every corner in the city, to see things and of course, to taste foods! he is able to eat everything i am afraid he would explode someday. he has a good and unique taste in music, he knows almost every song but is confused why people seem not to know any of the songs he loves. i realize i always laugh more nowadays, and he plays a good role to have this effect on me. the point of all this, i like him everyday because he seems happy. i am really glad and relieved to know that he is happy.
who are you now?
are you something more than you were before?
are you warmer in the rain,
are you stronger for my touch?
am i giving too little by my loving you too much...?
how is the view, sunny and green?
how do you compare it to the views you've seen?
i know, i am
and surer, too...
are you now?
who are you now?
are you someone better
for my life?
(funny girl, broadway, by barbra streisand, 1964)
It is almost two weeks after new year and I know it is kind of late to say this, but I need to thank 2014 for being one amazing roller-coaster which drove me to both the highest highs and the lowest lows–for every chance given to taste the new experience which also widened my knowledge, for all the joyful times shared with my family and friends, for each solitude moment I got to spend with my own self, even for the dark days which taught me really well of how to keep holding on my faith. I am deeply grateful.
"To new beginnings,
in fear and faith
and all it tinges.
To love is a dare,
when hope and despair,
are gates upon it hinges."
– "A Toast!" (Lang Leav)
Happy glorious new year, be happy. :-)