21.11.09

191109. Thursday

hanya sejenak, aku mengingat
haruskah aku bernafas
aku ingat, dulu aku takut
hilang adalah bagian hidup
kemana aku melangkah?

aku melayang-layang
itu aku
ini rohku
jiwaku yang dulu, akankah kembali?
siapa senang, siapa sedih
mengapa dunia begini curang
berputar dan tertawa,
kenalkah ia akan tangis?

31.10.09

.


I forget how to smile. I've just known that heartbroken is killing, how sick but who cares?

23.10.09

whats up?

Almost a month since the last time I updated, rite? Doesn't mean I've been so busy all this time, noope, I was just not in the mood of writing. Nothing interesting to be written too, my life is so flat these days. I'm having a mid-test week, yeahh not so good but I'm hoping it'll go as soon as possible. I'm doin my best. And I don't do cheating at major subjects, how cool?
Honestly, I'm tired with all these..routines. School, courses, homeworks, tests.. Could I spend my last year as a highschool student in a better way? I'm looking for something interesting, I don't even have anything special to do at weekends. I stay at home when I want to, I go out when I'm bored. I really miss my quality time with my best friends, especially karina mira tia alle arya ninoy and others. We hung out a lot years ago. We went to Tarphrodite last week, but that's all. I had fun, but that's all. I go dating with my boyf, but that's all. I'm so bored and this is my last year. How sad? I have so much quality time with my girls at school, but if we go flashback to the last year, ah we were a lot happier. We went out almost everyday, we didn't care about everything especially school, oh okay I know its my senior year and it means I have to study all year long. I'll do everything for my future, howeva it's my priority right now. But I haven't even know where I will bring my self to. I want a good future, I want a good career, I want to make my parents proud, but where am I going? I've still got no destination. My mind changes everyday. Just keep prayin a lot, I feel a bit regret of wasting my highschool time with complaining and so on, bcs I know next year, all will be so much different. I'll be a collegian. Whoaaw, amen.

9.9.09

Two Is Better Than One, Song

I've got a new song from Uun(!)

Two is Better Than One
Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When it's all said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

I doooo really love both of them :)

8.9.09

H-3 Hol(Y)days

tsk tsk tsk why does the last week have to be the hardest week?

I have 2 (two) Biology tests this week, gosh TWO.
And maybe one more Physics test on Thursday, duh
ah who cares? holiday is coming around it's getting closer closer and closer, why can't we make it easier? It's September already and I'm still trying to live a senior life, haa hischool time is almost over so have you been ready to say goodbye?

Konsentrasi

Tadi pulang, seperti biasa ngangkot sama Shita. Puanasnya ampunan, gara-gara nggak biasa pulang jam segitu kali ya. Haduh gue nggak ngebayang deh kalo gue puasa, behhhhh bisa batal mulu gue haha. Tapi temen-temen yang puasa harus tetep semangat ya!! :)

Terus di angkot ngobrol banyak gitu kan ya dari ngomongin Agat terus sampe Dito blablablab terus ujung-ujungnya ngomongin kelas dua dulu, ngomongin Konsentrasi. Ah kangen parah :'(




One of the things I'll missssss a lot of my hischool times. Yah mgkn malah kalo dibilang masa sma terbaik itu ya pas ini nih. Kelas terrrrrseksi yang pernah gue punya lengkap dgn ketolol-ketololan anak-anaknya, nggak Zahra nggak Dogeng sama aja gilanya ahuahauha aset langka negara. Geng IPA 2 yang paling oke Anyn Arin Dinda Shita Zahra Pramud Olle Ola Salsa Bebel pokoknya cewek-cewek kece IPA 2 deeeh yang paling demen curhat gosip sama ngakak, belom lagi Shita si cermet paling top sejagad curhat nangis ketawa tolol sendiri dengan aksi doodlingnya dia yang sangat oke ahahaha apalagi dalam urusan sontek menyontek, partner terbaik saat ulangan haha tobat tobat. Arin dengan jiwa seninya yang berlebih dan kemampuan akting yang teope nggak bakal pernah ada yang bisa ngalahin :D Apid si penipu ulung haha nggak deng si pesulap, semoga semakin ahli ya Pid dengan trik-trik bangke lo itu. Ibun dan Panjul yang sangat twolol, teman cabut yang paling oke ah kenapa jadi kayak bikin album gini banyak thanks to nya deh. Pokoknya semuaaanya yang oke oke mantap mantap seksi seksi Konsentrasi paling seksi! Nggak bakal lupa deh bego-begonya sampe pernah dibilang sama Bu Adwi kelas Sos 3 huhu siapa sih yang nggak kangennnnn?



Kelas yang membuat impian masa kecil gue terwujud yaitu jadi Sherina di Petualangan Sherina hahaha lumayanlah dapet Best Actrees wakwakwak mungkin karena ketotalan yang dilakukan di Scene 11 Hahahah hayoo siapa yang inget ngacunggg!!




Kelas yang penuh dengan orang-orang kreatif dan memacu satu sama lain buat nggak pernah berhenti berkarya :))) Drama RamaShinta huaha latian di rumah Shita dari pagi sampe waktu nya bobo siang sampai malam menjelang sampe kenyanggg saking makanannya membludak sampe gila stres ngakak sampe pusing sampe ketiduran sampe yang ada nonton dvd aaaaah nggak ada yang ngalahin! Lomba band juga sama hahaha latian baru pagi-paginya deh padahal tampilnya pas siangnya, tapi tetep dapet Best Arrangement sama Best Drummer dong whoot oke banget ga siiiyjjj haha (L)


I get nothing left to say, our one year was too awesome and memorable. Sayang kita nggak sempet perpisahan. Taun depan abis uan, oke?

P.S : Kalian udah jadi guest list kok di daftar tamu wedding gue hahahaha, kalo udah sukses semua jangan lupa masa-masa pencarian jati diri ini ya...

w/looove :)

2.9.09

Ini Baru Hidup.

Hidup untuk menyanyi,
Hidup untuk menulis,
Hidup untuk depan dan belakang layar,
Hidup untuk berperan,
topeng dan panggung.
I wish.
:(

29.8.09

Change

While something ends, something begins on the other hand.

Ternyata jadi anak kelas 3 itu bener-bener nyita waktu ya, buat update aja susah. Ngomong-ngomong besok gue try out inten terus gue bener-bener belom persiapan sama sekali, malah rencana jalan-jalan sama Dito. Stres.

Anyway, something has changed. Something's over. I don't know where to start.........
Intinya, semua kembali ke sedia kala, kembali ke sebagaimana harusnya. Pertamanya gue marah banget, marah banget pas tau. Tapi setelah ngomong panjang lebar semalem dari bentak-bentakan sampe sedih-sedihan sampe biasa lagi sampe gue yang tadinya ngantuk jadi seger sampe jam 4 pagi, we know we both okay. Nope ini bukan tentang si jerapah kok, tentang persahabatan. Caelahhh persahabatan, petualangan sherina kali. Sayangnya gue nggak bisa mention disini. We ended the story but we also wrote a new title, as the beginning, friendship is all we need.

Tapi gue masih sedih loh. Jujur deh. Yah mau gimanapun....

Yaudahlah. Semua masih sama, yang beda cuma... keadaannya.

Nggak ngerti ya? Gue juga enggak.

23.8.09

Hm, Sounds Sarcastic



"It's normal that you don't forget your first love."

- Lon Hammond, Notebook



Poem, Ironic

Grrrk asli tugas liburan banyak banget, mana gue disuruh bikin karangan hukuman gara-gara nggak masuk hari Jumat pas acara Isra Mir'aj di sklh sama hari Senin upacara kemerdekaan gyeheheh I'm so sorrry dear Indonesia, I didn't come, didn't mean I had lost my nasionalism! Nooo I still have it a lot :) Terus ceritanya gue disuruh bikin puisi gitu bahasa Indonesia. Hahaha ngaco abis, gue buat sambil ngobrol sama Vavain hwekekek nih gue copy kesini ya haha tapi jangan ketawa wahai saudara-saudara!

IRONIS
Tergantung tinggi, melayang di atas awan
Geli canda merpati putih, mengiringi

Riang, rona merah apel terukir dan, cantik

Tertawa
Lalu memudar

Mengumbar senyum yang kini terpaksa
Pucat dan basah oleh air mata
Tak kunjung mengering, lembab
Hidup hambar dan rapuh

Jangan lagi tertawa
Jangan lagi berkata apa-apa
Biar semuanya, waktu menghabisi kebahagiaanku
Energiku. Kehidupanku.

Tersandung, dan jatuh
Selamat tinggal langit, ini aku si makhluk darat
Sekarang.
Mungkin Tuhan tahu, takdirku di bumi
Penghindaranku sia sudah

Ironis, tapi toh aku masih hidup
Kalau saja mimpi itu nyata,
Aku ingin sekali meloncat-loncat layaknya masa lalu

***

Say something, insipred by true life, Ren? Hmm. Yah, maybe.



20.8.09

You know?

I used to do my best.
No one did care then I'd take my turn
All for you, all for each of you
Then when my time had come
It was not like I had expected,
happy, but that's all.
And now I'm on my way,
trying to make it look special for me
I don't think it'll work
Years will walk away, but all know
It happens only once in a lifetime.
I was not excited, so
dissapointed?
Yes.
But anyway, thanks.

Welcoming Holidays

Well, I'm having holiday now. It's Thursday, let's count down til Sunday. Spare time, free time..... And I have nothing to do. Pathetic, I've been waiting for this holy-daysss and now I've got nothing to do. Perfect. I'm dreaming abt a little holiday in an island... well it's too far. At least, private beach pleasee :((( But it's still im-pos-si-ble.


You know? Enjoying life isn't that easy. Huh.

26.7.09

In ♥ with Tom Felton


Whoa.
God creates lucky people.
This one is extremely hot, haha.

If You're Not The One


If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?
If you you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me, then why does this distance name my life?
If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life


I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss your body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breath you into my heart

And I pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And though my heart is by your side


I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

Replica?

Cool.
Smile.
Eyes.
Chin.
Sit down,
Whether stand up.
Skinny.
Laugh.
Sweaters.
Schoolbag.
Aroma.
Walk.
Freak.
Dark.
Haircut.

Hmm, almost of all are in the same way.
Bet me, you'll say it on the first look.

12.7.09

: (

Last day for holiday.
Postingan gue kali ini akan berbentuk curcol tanpa ada maksud apa-apa, intermezzo doang. Nggak bermaksud menyinggung siapapun, jadi jgn mikir yang aneh-aneh.
Besok udah masuk sekolah lagi nih gue. Kelas 3. Senior. Ujian. Cari universitas. Ah mati aja!
Nggak tau ya, gue rasanya males banget balik ke sekolah. Malesnya itu males bener-bener males, males yang......... parah deh. I'm still wondering why I have to have my senior year there, just like that. I used to love my senior year loh, so much malah. Padahal ini tahun terakhir gue pake seragam dan taun depan gue udah kuliah (amin), harusnya kan gue excited dan semacamnya tapi ini enggak. Buat kuliah iya, buat persiapannya.... Rasanya pengen cepet-cepet langsung kuliah aja tanpa embel apa-apa. But to get the results we have to do the efforts first, ya kan? Yah ini dia salah satunya, masih ngerasa nggak siap buat usaha keras. Nggak main-main loh masalahnya, ini nentuin masa depan. Terus kenapa? Karena gue belom puas ngerasain yang kata orang 'high school never ends' itu. Have you really got that? Sirik deh gue haha. Mungkin lebih tepatnya kecewa kali ya, waktu gue tau gue bisa masuk sekolah ini gue bangga banget, gue udah ngebayangin gimana serunya masa sma yang gue denger dari orang-orang, dan gue berharap banyak banget sama sekolah gue ini. Tapi ternyata... I just got a little. Sisanya?
Dari gue kelas 1, kayaknya gue ngerasa sekolah gue sendiri nggak ngasih semangat juga gitu, aura yang ada cuma aura persaingan doang, cacu gitu deh. Saingan sih oke, hidup memang untuk bersaing tapi kalo nggak ada aura saling support sama sekali? Gue nggak suka.... bukan gue takut tantangan, tapi rasain sendiri deh. Dulu, pas angkatan gue masih kelas 1, kita udah kebeban sama ujian kakak kelas 3, dengan berbagai blablabla dari guru-guru. Gimana nggak stres sendiri? Dua tahun gue nggak terlalu berasa. I've said once, even your best friends could be your rivals. Gue nggak bilang gue ngalamin gitu, enggaklah. Tapi itu emang sangat mungkin terjadi kalo situasi kayak gini haha, gue harap di antara gue sama temen-temen gue sih nggak kejadian, I trust my bestfriends just like I trust myself, so... gitulah. Dulu gue bimbang milih antara dua pintu dan gue ngerasa pintu yang gue pilih salah, yah mudah-mudahan aja pikiran gue nggak bener. I have told myself for hundred times, this is one of God's plans for me. He has already known what I will be in my future, He created it dan gue mesti percaya yang dia tentuin, pasti yang terbaik buat gue, iya kan?
So I'm stopping my negative thoughts, kapan gue mau maju kalo mikir negatifnya mulu. Semoga aja first impression gue salah besar, amin banget! Mungkin sebenernya gue cuma nggak siap, dan keburu takut duluan. I feel like I'm on the lower side of life, and I'm stuck here. I need big supports and friendly punches... but no one does.
Hmmph postingan gue nggak jelas ya, acak adul dan blablabla gue nggak tau deh banyak yang mau gue tumpahin tapi gue nggak tau gmn nyusunnya. Terlalu banyak uneg-unegnya. Haaa, let's see aja deh, pray the best for me yaaaa guys! hehe ♥ you all

Have you?



"You have to realise who you are."

Hermione G (Harry Potter & Half Blood Prince)



11.7.09

Scared :(

Past is over, Future begins. Ready?
I'm not. I'm scared.

30.6.09

Lately Photos










One more loveable nite with 'em,
(click the heart, allll the photos are there!)

29.6.09

Goofy Giggling Gaggle of Girls

4 am here.

Lil bit sleepy but don't wanna sleep this early, do we really have to go sleeping if the people we love are around? Gde is here, yeaa here here here in my bedroom! One more night to spend with 'em hea I always love these times :) Don't have to care bout others, aa we don't have much time to do that, we still have a lotta tell and a lot of jokes on the air. Do you still remember Sex&The City Movie? We're not that fab, we're not that girlie, we're not that richhh and so on but we have the same formation and the same friendship. Shoulders to lean on, Hands to hold on, Spirits to be kept up, Love to be held up. Friends is added up, some walk away day by day, some stay. Geng Hore juga harus nginep dooong kapan nih ;( I love you all ethnic girls, I love you all my geng hore, none can replace the seven of you!

21.6.09

Blabla

Long time no blogging, hmm my internet connection was sucked up so I was off for a week rrrawr!
Hoped I could update frm Windows Live Writer but actually I hadn't finished the download yet haha poor me ;( I'll update later, see ya!

13.6.09

Enternition & Love Songs

having fun having fun having fun ---------- tired and bored

I went to school this morning, haa guess what it's been a long time since the last time I went to school on Saturday morning, cos I'm taking vocal course at Kebayoran every Saturday, 10 am, so it's just not possible for me to go to school at Saturday rite? But I wasn't going to my course today, I had to go to school to join the Enternition, hmm it's in one company with Lasagna, the one I told you yesterday, remember? Enternition is hmm haa hmm ooh I forgot what the abbreviation was hehe yeah it's like band competition gitu deh, one class one band. This year, the theme was Tribute to Chrisye so we had to sing one or two of Chrisye's songs, and one another song was up to us. So Konsentrasi XI IPA 2 Band, what a cool name rite haha, with Ibun & Me at Vocal, Aris at Guitar, Firsa & Dito at Keyboard, Panjul at Bass, and Ari at Drum had decided to sing Serasa&Cintaku (medley) and Tunjukkanlah Rasa Cintamu - RAN ft Sheila. Oh love songs!

Serasa, indah dan sejuknya
Bila kekasih tidur di pelukan

Membentang dataran hijau
Berseri, semesta menyongsong sejoli (Serasa)

Cinta akan kuberikan bagi hatimu yang damai
Cintaku gelora asmara seindah lembayung senja
Tiada ada yang kuasa melebihi
Indahnya, nikmat bercinta (Cintaku)

Tunjukkanlah rasa cintamu
Coba buat mereka tahu
Betapa indahnya dunia
Bila engkau sedang jatuh cinta
(Tunjukkanlah Rasa Cintamu)


Everyone who heard them must thought that I were madly in love hiyahhh *.*

We got the lucky number 12, so we had a practise this morning before the show time, and we hadn't had any practise before -___- We were extremely confident you know tapi itu udah kelewatan haha
So after the practise, ugh I almost got my voice gone with those high notes, we got back to school. Felt like guest stars, came just a moment before the show time haaa ;p
aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, Show time! Everything was good enough, beside the expression of Ibun's face haha everybody said that his face was just "Ga nyante!" and some said our expression were just like porn stars, eeeugh how could be?!
But after those #$!@#!$%* things, our fights weren't useless! We got the Best Aranggement Award and Ari got the Best Drummer Award hiyeyyy! Maju terus Konsentrasi oooh I love you extremely much!!!!

But nooow, I'm stuck at my home, nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to talk, no money no cry (I really don't have any money in my wallet), aaaaa everybody is going out, leaving Mbak Lia and me at home, tired and bored, bored bored bored fuck I have even forgotten how fun a sat-nite is! Lebay sih -,-''

11.6.09

Gotta Go


don't know why but I got something like spirit just after reading it

10.6.09

Proudly Presents


Sebagai pembuka dari rangkaian acara "CAKRAWALA" yang akan diselenggarakan selama bulan Juni-Juli, SMAN 81 (sekolah kami sendiri) akan menyelenggarakan SPORT&ART COMPETITION, 18-26 Juni 2009 di SMAN 81 Jakarta.

Yang dilombakan:
  • Futsal
  • Basket
  • Modern Dance
  • Saman Dance
  • Rally Photo
  • Graffiti (kategori umum)
  • CosPlay (kategori umum)
Pendaftaran sudah dibuka, berminatlah dan segeralah mendaftar, ke sekretariat OSIS atau kunjungi blog CAKRAWALA dan hubungi "KONTAK KAMI" di bagian kanan. Technical meeting akan diadakan pada hari Jumat, 13 Juni 2009 di SMAN 81 Jakarta. Mari berlomba-lomba menunjukkan kemampuan kita dan berhenti menjadi penonton setia, rebut total hadiah 26, 5 juta!

9.6.09

White Slim Thing(!)

I want something which is white and slim.
You know, I hate dreaming of having something, especially when I don't have any idea whether I'll get it or not. I've been waiting for my parents' answer and hoping they will stop saying 'patient' or laughing and making a joke everytime I beg them for it, sooner. I'll upload its photo just a moment after I've got it I promise, and Amen :(((((

Enchanted

loveable movie
loveable soundtrack
loveable fairytale
loveable song lyrics




So Close
Jon Mclaughlin

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me
and look how far we've come
So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
to reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close, and still so far


one of the most must-be-listened songs in my playlist, so far ;)

Bible Says..

Filipi 1 : 3
Aku bersyukur kepada Allahku setiap kali aku mengingat kamu.



Filemon 1 : 15
Sebab mungkin karena itulah dia dipisahkan sejenak
dari padamu, supaya engkau dapat menerimanya
untuk selama-lamanya.


thanks :)

Can't Wait

I don't have much to tell, but my mood goes up these days (fortunately). My exams week has finished, haaa I don't care much about the results, all I want to do is just ho-li-day. And if it's possible, honestly, I want a vacation for this holiday, hu hu guess what I can't even remember when my last vacation was. *sigh*

8.6.09

Bonjour,

Heya, hate saying this but this is my new blog. I had another, that I made with my boyf Dito, you know it. Well, I made it and it doesn't mean I don't want to have that blog with my boyf anymore, it's just not like that, but starting from now, I'm gonna try to share my daily life. My own life. Sometimes, I reaaaally wanted to share something, to write something, but I thought it was just an egoism if I wrote down my thoughts there, so I made it. If I said, Unrated Fairytale was a page of memories, so Lullaby is a page of daily life. Take a seat and relax, let me start..... <3