despite all those times we joke and argue over who first fell in love between the two of us, I can still clearly remember the very first time I met you. between all the other people who sat around the table, I knew you were one of a kind. one of a kind, you could be my friend. one of a kind, you could be someone cool to hang out with. one of a kind, you could be fun. one of a kind, you could be the only person beside me who was really annoyed to be there and wishing we were somewhere else, somewhere fun. one of a kind, but I never guessed at first that you could be a, my, lover or someone I could fall in love with.
and you know. the first days we talked to each other, we talked like two old friends who had never met for years. two old friends who came from two different worlds but yet still fit one another. it was hard to completely understand the big maze you had in your mind, but your mind finally accepted me as its friend in the end. and being with you is one big thing to deal with, but as we get to see more widely and deeply about ourselves, we finally get to know what the do's and don'ts, the yes and no, and be really okay with all of those. I got through a hard way to know you as much as I know you now, that I finally fall not only for you but also your mind. you were so unreachable, but then, you were never someone I did not know at all.
and, as you know, since the first time we got to know each other, we both knew we were born to be loners. lovers. loners. you like being alone. I love being alone. we both know that there is no problem with us being alone in the middle of a crowd, no matter how big the crowd is. you love spending hours doing your own thing on your computers, watching how easy the world go by. I love going anywhere all by myself, sitting alone and seeing how people get by one another, taking time to talk with my own mind. you know that I always have pages of thoughts that I need to ask my own mind how it thinks about them. being alone feels good. but then, at the end of the day, though, I will never miss any chance to have some alone time together. with you.
you see. after all, I am never afraid of the idea of being alone.
it is the idea of you being a stranger, after these 4 years since the first time we met,