2013!

It has been 14 days since I left 2012.

And I am on a term-break, anyway. I have ended my 5th term.....mmm, I can say it ended quite well. I did not honestly put much hope as I did when I was on 4th term, I know I did not do my best effort along the 5th term so I decided not to curse any score I got at last. And so here I am, trying to enjoy my break before I get to another war on my next term.

I know that time flies really fast. It feels just like yesterday when I wrote all my thankful posts of being accepted at my college and what it was really like on my first year, and now I am facing my last year (if God says so) before I move to the next step. See? Time does fly reaaaally fast. 

I do not know what 2013 will bring, well, no one knows. A lot of things happened in 2012 but I am still the same person that people have always known though. As much as I know, I will still do the same routines, going to college, studying, rehearsing with the choir I have been in for the last 3 years, procrastinating my works.... I did not intend to make any resolution, from what I learnt, I am not really good at achieving resolutions. So, even if I have to, I will probably say my resolution for this year is to have a lot more fun. For the last few years, I spent a lot of time doing this and that, most of them are the things I love but still, I lost my urge to hang out, to socialize, to have fun..  So this year, I will try to have some more quality time with my family, my friends, my boyfriend... anything fun, just like those times when I was a teen. Well, You Only Live Once, right?

I know we are all praying for a good year. I know it is kind of hard not to regret what we did, what we left, even what we did not do, on the previous year. Looking back to what we left behind is okay, anyway. It is a good way to know we have all changed, hopefully, to be a better one. So....have yourself a joyful year!

xx

leaving 2012 with fever.

This is the last day of 2012 and I have to stay on my bed all day long due to this fever. I have been cursing this (of course), but I am thankful enough this didn't happen on Christmas Eve. For the last few years, I have never got any great story about my New Year's Eve though. It always went unplanned, sometimes failed, and most of them were so-so. But still, there's so much to be thankful for that I still have the chance to end another year and move to the upcoming one completely with my beloved ones, my family, my friends, my boyfriend.

 Hope you are all enjoying the last day of 2012, have a great New Year's Eve!

human

we are afraid of what we feel, of what might hurt us. the cold nights; the black clouds on the sky while we don't have any umbrella on our hands; the sad faces that might bring the bad news; the silence that suddenly comes after the joy we've just shared; the mistakes we don't realize; the high pitch shouts; the ground we see while we're flying high; the thoughts of the world outside....

and we are even more afraid that we've felt too much and we have nothing left to feel.

There's always something to do at Christmas.

Waiting for christmas day is the most exciting thing to do every year. The ups and downs that keep coming even on my favorite time of the year like these days do not stop me from wanting the christmas day to come even more. I have nothing special to prepare or wait, though, the day itself has always been special for me. And the preparations, they can't be more exciting than this. These days, I have even forgotten all the stuffs on my list, even my final assignments.

Since my sister has moved to Bandung and rarely goes home (she is really the busiest freshman girl I've ever seen), I replace her role to be mom's company on preparing our christmas stuffs this year. And it is exciting. We've been decorating the house since November 29th, decorating the tree, going to the malls to find something new for mom's christmas collection, hunting the christmas gifts, baking the christmas cookies, and, of course, buying and adding more and more christmas cds to daddy's collection. Joyful christmas songs are filling our house almost every day.

Routines are really hard to do these days and dealing with finals really brings my mood down sometimes. Sometimes I wish we had a long winter holiday here so I can just spend all my time enjoying these moments.

And yes, the guy next to me has been a busy man now. But, another yes, he's still really good at doing his job as my partner in crime. Please do not mind the big noses, this is just one of the best poses we can do.

Hope you all have a joyful moment as well, have yourself a merry little christmas!
xx

I might be so mad at you right now

but what hurts you, hurts me too.

another entire year.

Because you've always been there.

when the spring flowers bloomed on those famous London parks,
here I got my so-so holiday and you cheered me up.
you did your best and graduated from college, making me proud.

when the sun stroke high in summer,
we also got the longest and hottest season of the year, which caused some breakdowns but we promised to keep holding on
my birthday came and you were still there, singing the fabulous happy birthday song and capturing photos of me blowing the candles

while the Americans were picking the fallen leaves from the trees by autumn,
we laid down side by side laughing over the list of our American dreams.
and once again this so called life surprised us, your wish got answered and our free days were twisted, so we gladly welcomed back the busy days.

and even when the cold winter night already starts to haunt the cold world,
you are still the one I'd want to hug every time the pouring rain starts to dance outside my window,
and you're still there hanging on the phone line every single day, wishing me luck to go through another day.

Thank you. For another entire year, you've always been there.
Happy 2nd anniversary, Lavly Kawengian. I love you.