Reviews and Resolutions

Three days to another new year, 2012.

2011 began with spotlights everywhere, and no maps at all. I did not know what to face along the year, it all came with surprise. I reached the highest point at the very start, met the spotlights everywhere, and start to fall down til I reached the the lowest point at the end of the year, with a little candle on my hand. It is just three days to the upcoming new year and I get sick, sick enough to make me stay on my bed all day long. And I take my time to think.

2011 has been good, but uneasy, and hard, name it. My mood changed a lot this year. I felt a lot of various feelings this year. There were times to be happy, sad, afraid, satisfied, disappointed, and mad. There were some moments when I got the chance to laugh until I got no breath, and to cry until I got no tears left.

Instead of being sick, I would rather call it as a depression. I know I have been afraid enough to start a new year. I keep on asking, what else will happen next year? How big will the pressure I feel? But then...the last thing I have asked is, why do I have to be this afraid of new things? It is just... it is so not me. I used to be excited of new things.

So, I decided to make a simple resolution for my new year. I want to be enjoy. I know some things will be pretty easy and others will be hard somehow, even harder, but I just want to make sure that I can enjoy every little things that will come. At the end of this year, I want to get all the positive energy I have lost, and prepare it to work well so I can start the upcoming year in a good way.

Work hard, and, instead of 'play', I will try to pray harder.

Wish me luck, and good luck for all of you.

Happy New Year 2012. :)

The most wonderful time of the year.

See the lights and hang the stockings

Decorate with green and red

Made the cookies for old Santa,

Made a runway for his sled

Singing carols on a sleigh ride

Gather 'round the manger scene

Open presents and read the letters

And together we will sing...

Merry Christmas 2011 and Happy New Year 2012!

May God bless everyday of your life.

:)

Antisocial.

I need to maintain my social life, there's something wrong with it.

I mistrust people, I just hate how people stab each other's back, but it's even hard for me to say 'no' to them, especially the ones with best fake smiles, so instead of saying no, I prefer ignoring and I think I've lost almost everyone.

I was the one with huge circle of friends, but now I get pathetically disoriented in society.

This thing brings me to two possibilities:

1. This isn't just me who feels empty, but people are also losing everyone and, like it or not, start to think about themselves more than others, call it individualist.

2. I might blame them for leaving, but maybe, it's just me who practically decided to move my own feet to the sideline and became an outsider.

I-might-be-the-problem-in-this-case.

How sad.

Calling....15-11-11.

Happy things happen in the middle of the rainy days in November:

boyfriend's birthday and our 1st anniversary on the same day :)

Leaving everything behind, or being left behind?

Growing up is not easy at all.

I have met those pointless days, those disoriented feelings, those questions, those regrets, like all you want to do is clicking 'undo' on everything and getting back to the very start. Fixing things you know you should have not done.

I know I have been a total mess. I annoy people, even the people I love. But I personally think that this might be another big step we should take in our life. To leave everything behind and be a better one instead.

Oh, and the most special thing I would like to say to you is.

Don't lose someone who stays with you while you're growing up.

:S

While everyone starts to write, or even improve his/her writing skill,

I surprisingly stop writing.