I do not like what the world has to offer.

(via tumblr)

despite all those times we joke and argue over who first fell in love between the two of us, I can still clearly remember the very first time I met you. between all the other people who sat around the table, I knew you were one of a kind. one of a kind, you could be my friend. one of a kind, you could be someone cool to hang out with. one of a kind, you could be fun. one of a kind, you could be the only person beside me who was really annoyed to be there and wishing we were somewhere else, somewhere fun. one of a kind, but I never guessed at first that you could be a, my, lover or someone I could fall in love with.

and you know. the first days we talked to each other, we talked like two old friends who had never met for years. two old friends who came from two different worlds but yet still fit one another. it was hard to completely understand the big maze you had in your mind, but your mind finally accepted me as its friend in the end. and being with you is one big thing to deal with, but as we get to see more widely and deeply about ourselves, we finally get to know what the do's and don'ts, the yes and no, and be really okay with all of those. I got through a hard way to know you as much as I know you now, that I finally fall not only for you but also your mind. you were so unreachable, but then, you were never someone I did not know at all.

and, as you know, since the first time we got to know each other, we both knew we were born to be loners. lovers. loners. you like being alone. I love being alone. we both know that there is no problem with us being alone in the middle of a crowd, no matter how big the crowd is. you love spending hours doing your own thing on your computers, watching how easy the world go by. I love going anywhere all by myself, sitting alone and seeing how people get by one another, taking time to talk with my own mind. you know that I always have pages of thoughts that I need to ask my own mind how it thinks about them. being alone feels good. but then, at the end of the day, though, I will never miss any chance to have some alone time together. with you.

you see. after all, I am never afraid of the idea of being alone. 

it is the idea of you being a stranger, after these 4 years since the first time we met,

that 

somehow

                                       breaks

                                                                                                   me apart.

bad days, good days // easy come, easy go.

these pictures above are the pictures I recently took and shared on my instagram.

I cannot believe it is March already. 24 hours sound long enough but then again, days went by so fast that when I looked at the date, I was surprised that March had come. sometimes I joke around that we might need 31 hours to have a proper day, to have a proper sleep, to have a proper time management. I am really bad at this one. but then again, I do not think having 31 hours a day will make the problems go away, having 31 hours a day will just make the list of to-dos grow longer.

these days are seriously crazy. there were those days when I blabbered about how lifeless my days were (specifically it was my term-break) , but I guess I should have really enjoyed those days. these days I feel as if my brain never stops working, there is always something to think, something to discuss, something to do, I just cannot wait for my mind to explode. I sometimes think it is more mentally tiring than physically tiring.

at the beginning of most days, I am just really pessimist. sometimes things rush really fast, sometimes things just get worse than before, sometimes people are so hard to cooperate with, and I begin to wonder why I agreed to do this and that, I wonder how easy my days would be if I had just said no to anything. but then, at the end of the day, when I take time to review all the things I have done for a day, I feel completely amazed of how I finally get through another uneasy day while at first, all I really wanted to do in that morning was staying in my bed and hiding under my blanket all day. well, this might be the power of prayers, once I surrender everything into His hands, He does it really well. my Awesome God is really awesome.

I cannot say I am tired nor giving up because I think I have not done enough. this optimistic statement does not solve the problem nor make my days better, I know, but doing things for people, filling people's expectations, feeling satisfied of having things done, getting another experience, these kind of days, are just some things we need to keep moving forward to another day, another story, another experience, another dream, so we will always have something to be thankful for.

a pancake day.

my sister and I made two plates of pancakes for today's lunch. we had instant fried noodle for breakfast so since we ate lunch menu for breakfast already, we decided to ate breakfast menu for lunch. my pancake had cheese as the topping and her pancake had choco-cheese as the toppings. they were simply good.

again, a day off (sigh).

the 6th term has started. today is supposed to be the second day of the new term but here I am, writing a new post in my room. you all know how powerful a period is and today, I am one of the victims. I spent all morning bearing the pain in my stomach. it is getting better now, anyway. (honestly, I am one of those girls who prefer not to use hormonal problems as an excuse for not doing things, but sometimes I just cannot resist the pain that period brings, seriously). so I am already skipping two classes today, breaking the promise I just made on my mind yesterday.

I did not imagine I would have another day off just two days after a month off that I spent by laying on my bed almost everyday. I am such a lazy ass, I know, but the weather these days is just too perfect to stay in bed, using every possibility to do things in my bed (again, picking things as excuses). so, today I finally get bored of not doing anything, and I start to make a list of things I have been craving for, and pick out the top five:

1. eating pancakes. with two scoops of vanilla ice cream.
2. drowning myself in a good book. I have chosen a title actually, it is The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I have seen the movie, and yes, it is good. I am a believer that a good movie usually comes from a good book.
3. I am now imagining myself sitting in a quiet corner of a cafe. and I might need a cup of hot coffee. yes?
4. swimming. oh how I miss swimming.
5. going to a theme park. I want to be on the highest track of the roller-coaster, screaming my lungs out to the sky as if I only have one more day to live.

haha, it is just good to know what you want to do. I am looking forward to do these things soon. hope you all are already doing your own list of things you want to do, have a good day. :)


photos:
1. the place where I spent my day, all day long, beside my bed.
2. a bowl of sweet happiness I enjoyed after my late lunch.
3. a late photo from summer 2012, I got a mint-flavored ice cream in this photo....but still no pancake. :(

there are storms we cannot weather.

behind all those days we shared in silence, or those nights we shared with arguments and even shouts, all I actually, really, want to do is just to have your arms around me all day, everyday, and I, for sure, will not even think twice to hug you back. I guess sometimes we just need some more proves that things are going to find their way to be just fine. Well, in the end, we all are just humans.

just.... b e s t.

We were actually missing Kristia here. It is funny how we realize that it has been 8 years since the first time the four of us made (best)friends. I spent almost everyday of my junior high school years with them, almost every week of my high school years with them (we were separated in different schools), and things changed a lot when we went into college but I am totally happy that we still have the chance (and the love, and the needs) to get some quality time together! :) we really grew up together, it is sweet to know that some things stay, not all the same, but just simply stay.